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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Did you really just say that?  

What a complete turn-off it is to hear someone rant and rave about how great they are!  Don’t they realize that sometimes it’s really NOT about them!  I can’t stand it when they are not involved in a conversation, so all of a sudden the conversation HAS to change in order to be about them.  

Need I say more?

 

My husband is the biggest culprit, and it is such a turn-off and he just doesn’t get it.  Then he wonders why my mood changes.  Of course this isn’t even close to being the first time.  

One time I was in a group conversation with him in a circle and he just sort of stepped in front of me causing me to be pushed out of the circle so the attention was focused on him (at least that’s how I took it). How rude! On top of that, I don’t think he even realizes that he does these types of things.  

Just the other day my parents and I were discussing my son’s flag football game and basketball game.  This is the first time my husband is coaching my son (flag football), and it’s been an interesting season.  Anyway, I was telling my parents how well he played and how I was impressed with this one play they did, where he was the quarterback and maneuvered around the defense rushing him and did a jump pass for a completion to his teammate.  Even the other coach yelled to my son that it was a great pass.  Well, within this conversation my husband chose to butt in and tell everyone (just my parents and myself) that HE made my son great. I couldn’t believe it, my son has been playing for several years now and this was the very first time that he ever coached him.  He has been a quarterback and receiver for all of his other flag teams too, so this certainly wasn’t his first time, and I don’t know that I would ever refer to anyone as GREAT.  

Why does it have to be about him?!?!?!  

On another occasion we had company over from church and school. I happen to coach their older daughter in basketball and my son is in the same grade as their son. So, we happen to be talking about school and basketball and apparently my husband got annoyed. He actually left the dining room for at least 30 minutes before I decided to go check on him, because every. He was laying on the bed, just laying there.  I couldn’t believe it. He was mad because he felt the conversation didn’t include him. I was completely embarrassed because of his dissappearance and his behavior.  How am I supposed to explain that?  

This is my second marriage, he’s 12 years older than I am, I thought he would be more mature than my ex-husband, I guess I was a bit mistaken.  

So, how do you handle an EGO like this?

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So, who does the dirty work in your family?

I didn’t even realize that my helpful nature turned on me and I was actually doing the dirty work at times without really knowing it!

For some reason my husband is always giving me the items to return at Lowes and Home Depot or anywhere else for that matter, those two just happen to be his favorite hang outs.  He makes it seem like it’s no big deal.  “I’ll just pick up the few items we need while you’re returning those.”

I think nothing about it because the sooner I’m out of there the better. He could spend hours there and it drives me crazy, but I go just to make him happy. 

He never has his receipt, not that it’s a big deal, but there always seems to be an item or two that he forgot which store it was actually purchased in, and of course, I’m at the wrong store trying to return it.  He laughs about it, while I’m the one who’s embarrassed. 

He still can’t get over the fact that he had me return paint one time. You know they don’t take paint back in the stores. Well, I didn’t know this as I waited in line with my two gallons of paint (outdoor paint no less).  They told me that they don’t accept paint returns, and I just stated that the color came out wrong and I was told to return it. So, they sent me over to the paint area for them to check out my two gallons.

Well, they actually took the two gallons of paint back. My husband laughed when I told him… He knew all along that they don’t take paint returns and he sent me anyway. Now he ALWAYS has me make his returns, because, unfortunately, he says I’m good at it and I get them to take things back that they’re not supposed to.

UGGGGGH!

Well, I put my foot down when he decided he wanted to get rid of the cleaning lady. He wanted to get rid of her, BUT he wanted me to tell her that her services were no longer needed. I was not about to do this, she always contacted him and not me anyway, so I made sure I didn’t have her phone number to make the call.

So, what does he do?  She comes to the door, ringing the bell and he doesn’t bother answering it.  He let her ring and ring and ring until she finally gave up and left.

At least he felt guilty about it, I wasn’t at home, so I had nothing to do with it.  The following week he did end up calling her and explaining that we wouldn’t need her services and he mailed her the check for the day he decided not to bother answering the door.

Do you have any “Dirty” work stories?

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I’m a really good driver! Honest!!!
I have no accidents on record, but I guess that doesn’t account for everything these days, does it? Sometimes it’s just plain embarrassing.       

Maybe it stems from not “being in love” with my vehicle. Let’s face it, girls and guys think differently about their “ride”. I’m never going to spend an enormous amount of money to put in a fantastic stereo system with subwoofer that takes up the trunk. Don’t get me wrong, I like my SUV/car, but I don’t weep over it if it gets a scratch on it.       

Have you ever wished you could take back a moment in time and redo it? Oh my, I have, more times than I can imagine!      

We used to have this small Ford pick-up truck that occasionally I was required to drive. Our driveway was always full of vehicles having two teenage drivers at home in addition to my husband and me. Of course the boys could never bring in the garbage cans, and most of the time my son (the youngest) and I were running late for school, so occasionally I would just skim the garbage can on my way out of the driveway.      

I suppose this one morning I must have needed more frappuccino that I inhaled, and I did my usual bump of the garbage can and proceeded to push it further out of the way only to realize that it was making a different kind of noise, more like a metal on metal crashing squealing noise. I couldn’t believe it; I actually ran down the side of my Isuzu Rodeo and pretty much scratched and dented at least half of the side, not to mention the damage to the Ford pick-up.      

That was just one of my “little” incidents….      

We also have this rather large Toyota Tundra, which everyone loves, except for me, I can’t stand trying to park something that big, I can never get it right the first time unless I can pull straight through the parking space. Plus, it’s kind of hard to maneuver through fast food lanes, u-turns and the bank lanes; they just aren’t wide enough.      

Unfortunately for my husband I have to drive the Tundra occasionally while he takes our Prius (excellent gas mileage, but embarrassing for him) vehicle on longer commuting days, it’s only twice a week, but two times too many for me and him. Needless to say, I’ve scratched up the darn rims! Not just once but a few times. He doesn’t always notice but I forgot to wipe down the scuff mark I left on the tire once (yes, I actually wet down the tire to make it look like the incident didn’t happen), which caused it to stand out way too much, UGGH.      

A nice rim and wheel ... unscathed!

 

The u-turn is what did me in, I misjudged it, and badly, but it wouldn’t have happened in any other vehicle. I cut it too short, but couldn’t back up because of oncoming traffic and so I kind of bumped up against the curb. I thought it would be just like my other scuffs, but apparently I broke off part of the curb and it was embedded in the tire and rim somehow. YIKES~!       

Needless to say that did not go over so well!
Help me out here; I can’t be the only one having stupid driving incidents.

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